Anxiety and Hope in the space-time continuum
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I’ve been sitting in front of my computer for days now.
My screen is a void.
It mirrors my inner state.
My computer and I
together
in a vacuum.
Nothing happens…
It feels like we are in a staring game contest.
I’m afraid I’m losing
(it)
I’m persuading myself that the void can be a productive place filled with potential.
*09.08.2023_03:04
My void is still pretty beige…
(…) reading about metamorphic void:
A title of the paper: “Urban void as a revitalisation source in enhancing developing countries’ city income”
Void as a capital investment?
Memories of the suburban working-class neighbourhood where I grew up.
Kanarevo Brdo
Opština Rakovica
Beograd
– a master void?
a warm place in my heart
gaping
I mind-travel to the river Topčiderka that springs not so far away from the huge motor factory complex (IMR) that went bankrupt and has been left eroding for the last 30 years.
I haven’t seen Topčiderka in years.
I google it.
It is still the most polluted river in Serbia.
Poor Topčiderka…
*Pri svakoj poseti Beogradu, prva pomisao, barem kada su reke u pitanju su Dunav, Sava i veličanstveno Ušće. Retko ko se seti da postoji pravi beogradski biser, Topčiderska reka.*
From Topčiderka, I flow to the Rhein river
– she’s my home now.
I whisper to her
/// Topčiderka is “it” and Rhein is “she”.
Poor Topčiderka…
I whisper to her:
“I thought you were just too organised for us to seep into each other.
Found no space for my chaos.
Now I discover an entry point through your wound.
I explore it
touch it
sniff it
I examine your cavities
the residue of trauma coming to the surface
it smells like iron.
In obstinate stagnancy, you are performing being stable,
yet you’re as wobbly as I am.
We shake together
cheek to cheek
doing the jelly dance of The Blob”.
I’m getting another signal now.
zooming out, the river becomes “it” again
I hear people saying:
“You can’t pee in the same river twice.
Oh no, no, no …
It is impossible to repeat past experiences, as time, as the river, and as the pee are continuous and sequential.
They flow, they glide, they drift, they run, they sip through, and sometimes even meander.”
BUT, if you learn to travel back in time, you CAN experience the same event over and over again.
Then it is you, and the pee, and the river: in an endless loop.
You, and the pee, and the river: you mix without diluting each other.
In a spirographic embrace
you flow into one another,
you soak in each other juices
you and the pee and the river,
over and over and over again.
I have an image of a jet-propulsion Perpetuum mobile
that can be kind of convenient,
BUT, being in a perpetual loop of a single event can be a blessing and a curse.
You can cuddle with a river or relive a trauma over and over again.
Both scenarios are significant when talking about the victims and survivors of the circular time.
The river is flowing into the sea.
The water expands
it is vast.
Atlantis is coming, SOS for LOVE.
– a new track
In the 0 dimension, Atlantis is a point.
In the 1st dimension, Atlantis is a line.
In the 2nd dimension, Atlantis is a shape (in this case a square)
In the 3rd dimension, Atlantis is a critical tool.
Rise of the Tool